I still basically hate my job, but I am working on hating it less and less each day. I think I make this job as miserable as I want to, but there are obviously days where shit just hits the fan and it's totally out of my hands. These days are becoming increasingly frequent as of late.
It's hard because I would like a job in the Healthcare sector, which is my eventual career goal. However, the economy sucks and the jobs I would like are pretty sparse to begin with, and are almost impossible to get because everyone else I know applies for them thereby increasing my competition, or they are out of my reach because I do not yet have the appropriate licensing and credentials.
I just hate feeling like my job doesn't matter, which I have recently discovered it does not. I hate the fact that I do a ridiculous amount of work for what amounts to next to nothing. There are days where I go home and am literally too physically tired to even eat. All I want to do is go home and pass out on the bed and not wake up for several days. I hate the fact that I am basically a peon and people just piss on me because they know they can, and because I can't do anything about it. I hate the fact that I work really hard to get things to an acceptable level only to see it all get destroyed hours later.
While I am annoyed by this and have started looking for a job, I ask myself a scary question: what happens if I hate my new job? What do I do then? Do I just deal with that job or do I contemplate walking away? I wish there was a way I could just give things a "trial run" without committing to them 100%. Unfortunately, life does not really work that way, and I must face the repercussions of my decisions whatever they may be.
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